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Curing Depression One Woman at a Time
I been saying it for years, people who don’t have sex or use rubbers all the time are messed up. You gotta have sex, it’s natural, and good for you. And this week the president-elect of the American College of Surgeons got in major trouble for letting everybody know that studies prove me right. Back in 2002 a study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior proved that chemicals in semen stop women from being all … Read entire article »
Featured
We’re Going to Shut Down Wikileaks at the ISP Level
WikiLeaks is in the news again today, revealing secrets about the detention facilities in Guantanamo Bay. … Read more »
Controlling Pet Populations with Tasers
My background is in mechanical physics, but I’ve got a fellow researcher and friend, Toby Bo, who … Read more »
Safety Tips for College Ladies
Every few months for the last ten years we here at the Citizen’s Auxiliary Police have been … Read more »
Popular
Don’t Let Japan Happen to You!
We all watched in horror as the tragedy unfolded in Japan, as wave upon wave crashed … Read more »
Let’s All Help the Japs!
I think as parents we all hope that our children will one day prove that our investment … Read more »
No Tsunami Dogs in the USA
If you love dogs like we do, then it’s time we put our foot down. While we … Read more »
Latest
We’re Going to Shut Down Wikileaks at the ISP Level
WikiLeaks is in the news again today, revealing secrets about the detention facilities in Guantanamo Bay. As fellow patriotic Americans I’m sure you’re as outraged as I am by their treacherous revelations. The government has so far been unwilling or unable to take action against them, so my lawyer, Delores Blasingame, and I are preparing to go into … Read entire article »
Controlling Pet Populations with Tasers
My background is in mechanical physics, but I’ve got a fellow researcher and friend, Toby Bo, who works in biotechnology. Sometimes on Friday nights after work we like to get a little crazy, you know, smoke a little herb, drink a little Bud, and play some practical jokes on each other. On a Friday last September we were … Read entire article »
Safety Tips for College Ladies
Every few months for the last ten years we here at the Citizen’s Auxiliary Police have been invited to various local colleges to put on women’s safety seminars. The hour long seminars myself and Major Elvis Newton provide are designed to help reduce the disproportionate incidence of crimes committed against these fine girls. We’ve been asked back year and year … Read entire article »
Western Estate’s Adopt-the-Unfortunate Program – Day 2
This is part of my series on helping the homeless, make sure you read our story from the beginning! It feels good to do good. After kissing the boys good night, and checking to make sure our new homeless friend Jerry hadn’t wandered off, I went up to bed. What an exciting day it’d been. What an exciting adventure we were … Read entire article »
Royal Wedding Invitation Nonsense
The guest list for the royal wedding was just released and neither I, a veteran journalist who has interviewed members of the royal family not less than four times, nor my fantastic Hollywood producer husband, Frank, were not on it. This is an outrage. Have you seen some of the people who did make the list? Miriam … Read entire article »
Western Estate’s Adopt-the-Unfortunate Program – Day 1
This is part of my series on helping the homeless, make sure you read our story from the beginning! Oh my! We just got back an hour or so ago from picking out our homeless person. It turned out to be more complicated than I thought! Just as Steve, the kids, and I were all piling into the SUV, Steve said … Read entire article »
Keeping Kids Safe at Easter
Holidays are always special times for families and children. But it’s important to remember that certain holidays, like Easter, pose special dangers for children. Advanced functional MRI studies I participated in at the psychiatric facilities of Atascadero State Hospital showed that in certain patients the regions of the brain involved in perceiving cuteness overlapped with regions perceiving lust. Penile plesmographs … Read entire article »
Western Estate’s Adopt-the-Unfortunate Program
You can hardly turn on the television these days without seeing the less fortunate paraded around to drum up funds for this or that charity. Hungry children, lonely old people, grief stricken mothers, homeless cats and dogs, the list goes on. But sending money is so last year. A lot of those people got into trouble because of their poor … Read entire article »
Easter Protest by the Chicano People
On Sunday the little white bunny will be hopping up to all the little white boys’ and girls’ houses, leaving them candy and Easter eggs. But what about my people? Where did our conejito go? The white people stole it from us, like they stole Texas, like they stole New Mexico, like they’re stealing the rest of our culture. They … Read entire article »